Post by caspian on Jul 19, 2013 12:45:00 GMT -6
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,bTable][atrb=style, width:300px; border-radius:5px; background-image:url(http://i.imgur.com/ax8DtgC.png); padding:10px;] made my heart come all undone If there is anything that anyone needs to know about Caspian, it is that he does not have a crush and he never will. It may sometimes seem he has a crush, a fluttering heart and twisting stomach when he catches a glimpse of a certain mermaid, but no one can prove that, therefore, Caspian doesn't feel it. He doesn't feel anything, damn it! Feelings are for squares! He doesn't have them! Except, of course, he does have them, lingering at the frayed ends of his mind, burning at the tip of his too-big-tongue. He sees her and his throat closes up and his chest feels tight and he blinks, over and over and over again, just make sure she's real, this his vision isn't playing tricks on him, the the reflection of the sun in the water isn't making him see things. Caspian is not proud of these feelings, doesn't want to own up to them because he's only had them once before and he's scared, it's scary to feel something when it seems that everything risks being ripped away from him. Caspian tries not to think about it too much, but it's a little futile when he finds her in his mind whenever it wanders, when he finds himself picking up treasures from the sand and thinking it would match her eyes. He tries to fight this, tries so hard, but he ends up gazing at her from across the reefs, quietly, so he doesn't disturb her, so she doesn't figure out who he is, what ailment he has. (Yes, crushes are an illness, damn it!) His resistance to it, however, is becoming more and more useless. He gets closer to her each time he sees her, thinks about things to say; he almost spoke to her, once, asked for her name because -- well, just because he wanted to know, as though her being real may help him, but he'd chickened out, swam away before she'd gotten a good look at him. He knows it's stupid, cowardly, but knowing that does not change the ferocity of it. It happens when he's close to shore, finding things that shine within the sand to put in his secret hiding place, because things happen when they're least expected, he supposes. He bumps something with his tail and pauses, turning to see what it was, and -- there she is, right there, just. Real. Alive and breathing. He falters for a moment, tries to think of something to say, and what he ends up blurting out is enough to make him wish he was dead: "Watch it, will you?" He snaps, before his cheeks color a brilliant red. "I -- I mean," he stammers, trying to rectify his wrongdoings, "I'm -- sorry, I just -- " he stops himself to take a breath, gaze dropping to the sand. "Sorry." words: 455 tagged: lynn! notes: he's nuts omg |
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